How to Be Happy

On October 10, 2012October 10, 2012 By Just StephIn Authentic Living SeriesLeave a comment

“Happiness is not something that someone hands you, like a sweater or a scarf. It’s not something that you find hanging on some random hook and which can be ripped off of you by ill-intentioned people or ripped when it catches on a thorn of meanness or misunderstanding. Happiness is something that you ARE not something that is done to you. It’s like drinking a glass of water. Once that water is inside of you it can’t be taken away. It becomes a part of your body finding its way into every cell and molecule. Of course you do have to choose to drink the water in order to reap its benefits.” ~ SSHenry

Are you happy?

No, seriously. Are you happy? Do you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face and hope in your heart? Does your unfettered enthusiasm for life fallow you through the day and spill over onto those around you without you even trying? Do you see the good in everything and hope for the best in every situation no matter how grim the circumstances may seem?

Yes, I know, I’ve just defined an optimist (or, as some people tend to call them, a Pollyanna). You know the story of Pollyanna don’t you? It is the story of a little girl who had every reason in the world to be unhappy. She was an orphan. She was sent to live with a cold and unfeeling aunt. She didn’t fit in with anyone around her. And yet, she always saw the good in everything to the point that she nearly drove everyone around her crazy with her relentless upbeat attitude. People actually got upset with her because she was always so positive about everything. This is probably because they have no idea what happiness actually is.

“Happiness isn’t optimism” a friend told me once when the topic came up in conversation. But he was wrong. Well. Not totally wrong. Unlike optimism which tends, at least in most people, to be a conscious choice (choosing to see the good in every situation), happiness is something that you are. You don’t choose to see the best in every situation; you just see the best in every situation. You don’t choose to be enthusiastic, you are enthusiastic. You don’t choose to follow your joy, you are your joy. This happiness radiates from every pore in your body because it is part and parcel of who and what you are. Of course, before you can BE happy, you have to CHOOSE to be happy.

Confused yet? It’s really not as difficult as it may seem.

You see, happiness is not something that someone hands you, like a sweater or a scarf. It’s not something that you find hanging on some random hook and which can be ripped off of you by ill-intentioned people or ripped when it catches on a thorn of meanness or misunderstanding. Happiness is something that you ARE not something that is done to you. It’s like drinking a glass of water. Once that water is inside of you it can’t be taken away. It becomes a part of your body finding its way into every cell and molecule. Of course you do have to choose to drink the water in order to reap its benefits and there are always those who would rather let themselves become dehydrated rather than deal with the “sloshy” feeling that comes from a surfeit of joy and contentment, and this is where the concept of happiness being a choice comes in.

Like choosing to drink the water, if you choose happiness it becomes a part of you; diffusing through every system and cell in your body making everything run smoother and more efficiently. It’s true! The happier you are; the more enthusiastic and positive you are about what is happening in your life and the more content and productive you will be.

No, this does not mean that you ignore the bad things that happen around you or the mean and hurtful things that are said or done to you or even how much pressure is being put on you to accomplish certain things within a certain timeframe. It simply means that once you have drunk from this fountain of happiness; once you have chosen to make it a part of you, you understand that there is nothing outside of yourself that can take it away from you.

No matter what is happening. No matter what is being said. No matter what is being done; you are happy. This happiness may not always express itself in unbridled enthusiasm or excitement; it may at times simply be a core of peace and contentment that burns steady and bright inside of your heart keeping you warm even in the coldest of times. But it is there, and it can make all the difference.

I’ll Meet You There

On December 3, 2011December 3, 2011 By Just StephIn Metaphysical MussingsLeave a comment

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about

~~Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Can you imagine it?

Can you imagine a world where we’ve stepped beyond the need to classify things as “right” or “wrong” and instead live so completely from the heart that we are in total synchronization with the universe’s plan for our lives, even if the life we live goes completely against social conventions?

What couldn’t we do?

What couldn’t we be?

How much of the misery and despair around us results from people trying to be something they are not? How much of it stems from living up to our societies expectations of what we are supposed to be? How much of it results from people giving in to the pressure of friends and family to be “responsible” and “practical” to put aside their dreams in order to “grow up?”

I have asked this question before and gotten answers that, taken together, amount to this:

“But people have responsibilities. We have obligations. We have jobs and families that are depending on us. Our communities, our societies expect us to behave in a certain way. To just run off in pursuit of a dream; something that may or may not pan out; to pursue our own happiness regardless of the cost; that’s not being responsible, that is taking a risk, and not just with our own happiness, but with the happiness of others.”

Well, here are some questions for those who would hold this to be true:

Do you not also have a responsibility for your own happiness?

Do you really think that you can ever be truly happy as long as you know that you are not living up to your potential?

Do you really think that those who love you would not applaud you for doing what feels right and becoming the person you were truly meant to be?

Do you really think that it’s better to put away your dreams and be responsible, but to always know down deep in your heart that there is more to you than what you have settled for?

How much has the human race lost because someone with a dream responsibly put that dream aside in order to live up to their own or someone else’s expectations?

And finally (yet most importantly), what does your heart tell you that you should be doing? What do you find your innermost soul yearning for? Are you content or do you find yourself seeking for something else; something more?

It is only in the deepest part of your heart that you will find the answers to these questions, and only there that you can find the strength to answer them honestly and then take whatever steps are necessary to bring your life into alignment with your soul purpose.

It is not an easy thing to do. And no, it does not mean that you have to leave your family or give up your job or shirk your responsibilities. This is something that goes far deeper than that. Of course if you are honest with yourself; if you truly want to bring your life into alignment with your soul purpose; if you commit yourself to living from your heart then things are going to change.

When you can finally be honest with yourself and admit that you are not living from your heart; that your life is not in alignment with your soul purpose; when you finally commit to living authentically and are open to what your heart is telling you, things will change. It can’t be helped. But you won’t have to force them.

As you listening to the promptings of your soul; as you learn to act on the instincts and impulses that it sends to guide you. You will find your life becoming richer; deeper; more authentic than anything you could possibly have imagined. But you will also find that many things that you thought were important; many things you thought you couldn’t do without will start to fall by the wayside. Desires, wishes, plans, ideas, beliefs, friendships, relationships; each and every one of them will be subjected to the same test of authenticity. Some will survive the test. Others will not.

Regardless of what does or does not change, your life will never be the same again.

And one day, one day you will be able to walk past the concepts of rightdoing and wrongdoing; smiling at them as you pass them by, and find yourself in that field where the person you have become will be able to lay itself down and bask in the wonder of what it truly means to live authentically.

And there is a field.

I’ll meet you there.