There are days
There are words
There are tears
To make it worth
There are hopes
And nothing’s as
What you lost
In perfect silence
In the darkness
In your blindness
In your joy
In every loss
In freedom you
What you don’t release
And from the night
So when you read this
That what you reap
In chaos is
And in the child
I was drowning in darkness.
Unable to move
Unable to breathe
So deep that nothing could penetrate.
And then, alone in the dark
I felt a hand slip into mine
And felt another heart beating in the dakness.
And a whisper in the dark;
A voice my soul recognized.
And for the first time in forever
I stopped struggling and let go
Trusting your arms to guide me;
To bring me to the surface once again
To the light and peace and hope
I thought I had lost forever.
No longer drowning in darkness
But swimming in sunlight
And now your heart a part of mine
~ SSHenry, December 1, 2013
Living in the Moment
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. ~Buddha
When I first heard the phrase “living in the moment” I found myself laughing sadly and shaking my head at the gullible fools who would buy into something so inane. Live in the moment? What fool would settle for living in the moment? Man oh man, talk about boring!
I didn’t want to live in the moment. What I wanted was to live my dreams, to achieve my goals; to make something of myself so that when I died the world would remember me! Forget about this living in the moment stuff. Obviously it was a cop out by those who hadn’t done anything with their lives; people who perhaps had once dreamed big but who had failed to follow through and were now regretting it; something to fall back on in order to make themselves feel better.
I knew better. I knew that if you wanted to be anything in life; if you wanted to make something of yourself, you had to remain in control; not only of yourself but of everyone and everything around you. Leaving anything up to chance was just plain foolishness.
If you wanted to get anywhere in life you needed to focus on your goals and break your projects down into small steps that you could accomplish and then, when all of the steps were completed, presto, your goal would be achieved. Well, that was the plan. And hey, it worked for businesses, why not for me?
There was just one problem. The goals that I had set for myself were not in alignment with my soul purpose. Hell, I didn’t even know what my soul purpose was. I had created a nice neat fiction for my life; a belief that when I attained a specific level of financial security or professional achievement that I would, at last, be happy. Well, that was the plan anyway.
And so it was that even when I had achieved each goal there was always something missing. It was like baking a cake. I’d followed the steps – added all of the ingredients in the proper order – and had a perfect cake sitting in front of me, but even though it looked perfect, it didn’t taste quite right. What had I done wrong?
Over time, however, I have discovered something; I found out what was missing, and it was far simpler than I could have imagined and all the more difficult because of that to implement. What I was missing was living (dare I say it?) in the moment; enjoying what I had already achieved without the expectation of what came next; of what I could do better next time around.
For all of my lists and my schedules; for all of my hopes and dreams and plans; for all of my visualization and projection; without being able to step aside and get out of my own way I ended up with a picture perfect cake that had little if any flavor.
This isn’t to say that we can’t dream.
This isn’t to say that visualization will not bring you your heart’s desire.
All this means is that we need to take the time – right now – to enjoy the moment that we spent all of our yesterday’s dreaming of and visualizing. It is the enjoyment of the moment that we have created that brings us the flavor of our days. And it is here, in the quiet of appreciation and the letting go of expectation where we will find that happiness has been waiting patiently for us all along.
Living In The Moment
To take each day as it comes
To live each moment as it arrives
To hope for nothing
To fear nothing
To expect nothing
Makes each moment a priceless gift;
A gift from the universe
Straight to your heart
A gift to be treasured and adored
A gift to be enjoyed, experienced
And then released.
The Price of Love
As strange as it may seem, it is possible to love without attachment. I’ll grant you, that is an alien concept in a day and age when the concept of love has been watered down to the point where it is used in regards to your like of soft drinks and computer games. But it IS possible.
Love without attachment is also love without expectation. The object of your love is not required to do or be anything other than exactly what it is. If it should change from one moment to the next; if, like a rabid dog, they suddenly turn on you and attack for no reason other than the fact that you are there, it won’t change the fact that you still love them.
Most people can get to the point of wrapping their brains around the idea of unconditional love; of love without expectation and attachment when it comes to a parent’s love for their child, but what about love for a perfect stranger?
For love to be truly unconditional it has to be based on more than what the person (or object) can do for you (give you love back in return, provide you with financial or emotional support, give you validation for your choices or provide you with a justification for being alive).
Truly unconditional love comes from a realization that all of us; you, me, the person standing next to you, the homeless man on the corner, the obnoxious politician – all of us; that each and every one of us is instrumental to the well being of the universe and of life on this planet. It comes from an acknowledgement that even though we may each seem completely different, at our deepest core WE ARE ONE.
The True Price of Love
True love comes with a price – the price of pain;
Of giving up a tiny bit of yourself to the one you love,
Knowing full well that you will never get that piece back;
Of knowing that as long as they live they will hold a tiny piece of your heart and soul.
And the true cost of living a life of love – whether it is the one love of a lifetime
Or many loves throughout your life – is that by the time you are done;
By the time your heart stops beating; there is nothing left of your heart.
It has been spread across the world – across the universe.
It has become a part of everyone and everything you have ever interacted with.
No matter how large or how small a part they played in your life,
You loved them; and in loving them you gave them a bit of your heart;
And in them your heart beats on and loves forever.
Let Me Love You
There are some things that are very difficult to put into words. Love; real love; unconditional love is one of those.
When those of us who have been raised in western socieities think of love we almost always associate it with things like romantic love, passion, sex, intimacy and those things that lead up to these. But there are so many kinds of love! There is the love for a lover, yes of course. But there is also the love of a parent for a child, a child for a parent, for a sibling or a friend or even for a stranger. But there is also love that comes from the feelings we have for a place, or an experience. The kind of love we have for words and food and beatiful artwork.
In truth, anything that stirs the soul can be said to contain a bit of love; a spark of the divine to which our own souls gravitate. But then of course, there is unconditional love; an all encompasing love that includes every type of love that you could ever feel for any person place or thing that is or was or ever will be.
You see, unconditional love is not dependant on anything outside of itself for its existence. It does not need to be acknowledged by those to whom it is given. It needs no one to return it in order for it to be justified. It requires nothing in order to exist. It simply IS.
There are some people who can love like this – totally and completely – and who require nothing in return. This doesn’t mean that they do not appreciate being loved in return or having the love that they give acknowledged and appreciated. It simply means that regardless of whether or not anyone even notices, or cares, they will continue to love.
It is simply who they are.
It is what they DO.
They ARE love for they have touched the infinite, and once the soul has felt that grace, there is no turning back. It is part of you, forever and always.
LET ME LOVE YOU
Let me love you.
Let me pour out my spirit, my soul;
let it wash over you until you are drenched in my love.
Let my spirit soak into your skin
and fill your eyes and mouth;
your heart and soul with the river of my passion.
Let the soft current of my desire
scour away any doubts and fears
let it sweep you past the point of no return
to where the waterfall of eternal bliss
cascades into the mists of eternity.
I never knew that my heart was made of wax,
But here it is melting every time I look into your eyes.
Maybe I flew to close to the sun of your smile
Because I feel my wings beginning to slip.
It doesn’t matter if I plummet to earth.
I’ve known the warmth of your touch
And my heart will never be the same again.
The Smiling Heart
We’ve all felt it; that all encompassing sense of wonder and mystery that accompanies those things which unexpectedly touch your soul. I don’t care if it is listening to the dawn’s first birdsong or the lonely call of a loon on a moonlit lake. It doesn’t matter if it is the hypnotic crashing of ocean waves against the shore or the ethereal beauty of a sunrise or the pure, unadulterated joy of a baby’s smile or the spark of passion in your lover’s eyes; you’ve felt it, if only for an instant. You know it’s there.
There are times when simply putting something this full of wonder into prosaic words simply does not work anymore. The relationship that I have with the mysterious; with that sense of wonder and awe that occasionally fill up my heart and soul is like that. There are days when simply speaking is no longer enough; days when the standard pattern of words just doesn’t work and I find myself turning to painting or poetry to help convey what is building up inside me.
These poems – I have had individuals who say that they are love poetry – and so they are, in a way. But it is not your standard love poetry. Not really. Or rather, none of it is addressed to a specific person, more to that all encompasing wonder that I find filling my heart.
It is for this reason that I have started a poetry section of this blog/journal. The first of these is what I like to call “The Smiling Heart.”
The Smiling Heart
Your love surrounds me; fills me and heats my heart to the melting point.
Your love permeates every corner of my soul and manifests itself as my reality.
You, yes you. You make my heart smile. Can you feel it?
Can you feel how, when the corners of my lips turn up
That the air becomes crisp and clear; clouds parting to reveal skies of blue?
Can you feel how, when my heart beats faster,
That the wind starts to blow and the world comes alive with birdsong?
Can you feel how, as my desire for you increases,
How the sun shines brighter; warming the earth and the sap in the trees?
You must feel it; how can you not, being inside me as you are?
And as my heart smiles, I feel you sigh inside my soul,
And I am at peace.
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