Tag: unconditional love

Taking Out the Trash

On By Just StephIn Authentic Living Series, UncategorizedLeave a comment

It is everywhere.

You don’t have to go looking for it.

Turn on the news; it doesn’t matter what channel. You’ll find it there.

Scroll through social media; any platform will do. You’ll find it there too; permeating the atmosphere like the stench of rotting garbage.

Anger. Hatred. Violence; the by-products of fear.

There is one very real thing about the stench of over-ripe garbage, and that is that no matter how much deodorizing spray you squirt, no matter how much lemon-scented soap you use, you can’t truly get rid of the smell unless you take out the trash.

Now before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I’m not talking about voting one political party or another in, or out of office. It doesn’t matter WHO gets in. In truth, unless we deal with the underlying fear, it doesn’t matter who wins, WE LOSE. Why? Because we haven’t taken out the garbage. We haven’t dealt with the fear.

Until we deal with the fear, the stench will remain; a constant reminder of the rottenness at the core.

You have heard it said that people fear what they don’t understand.

This is true of EVERYONE who gets angry for a cause.

In the current political climate you have one side you have where individuals’ fears stem from the changes that they see as coming with a progressive platform (they want to take away our guns / kill our unborn babies/ turn everyone gay / give our hard-earned money away to freeloaders/open our boarders up to violent criminals etc.).

On another you have those who’s fears come from the contemplation of a world where conservative views impinge on the inroads progressive platforms have made in the last hundred years (they want to take away our social security/steal our medicare/deny us the right to marry who we want/keep us from affordable health care/deny us the right to love who we want/ attempt to control our bodies / punish us because we are a different skin color or religion etc.).

I’m not saying that the fears on either side are not justified. There are plenty of those on BOTH sides who can give convincing arguments as to why they are right and why everyone else is wrong. But at the end of the day those that act out of fear, even if it is for a “just” cause, have more in common with their opponents than they would like to think.

Why? Because the anger and the hatred and the need to justify one’s position or view point or ideology ALL STEM FROM FEAR.

I’m not saying that the issues being argued are not important. They ARE important, extremely so. This is a pivotal moment for our country and I am not saying that we should sit back and do nothing. I am merely pointing out that no matter what side you take, no matter what your personal views on a subject may be and no matter how justified you may think those views are, if you are acting from a place of fear, you lose.

What I am saying is that we ALL lose if we do not address the fear that lies behind all of the anger and hatred.

Confronting one’s fears is never an easy thing to do. Most people avoid it like the plague.

It is not done by forcing political, social or religious views on those who disagree with you whether by posting angry memes or passing legislature designed to suppress the opposing side.

It is not done by arguing and getting defensive every time someone disagrees with you.

And it is certainly not done by picking up a handy weapon and killing those that you fear.

Fear is not always loud and obnoxious and obvious. It can be insidious. It is pervasive. It hides in just causes and in thinking you have the high moral or intellectual ground in a situation.

In fact, there is only one thing in this world powerful enough to counter fear, and that is love

Yes, love.

Stop wincing, I’m not talking about new age cosmic love; all glitter and unicorns and “good thoughts”. I’m not talking about the kind of love that features in pop songs and teen magazines or indeed romantic love at all.

The kind of love I’m talking about does not look at one’s outward appearance or bank account or position or political ideology, or how many time’s one meditates a week or national identity or religious affiliation or sexual orientation to deem another worthy of being loved.

I’m talking about the kind of love that empowers another to be their best self by believing in their worth as a human being.

I’m talking about the kind of love that fills up your heart and heals you from the inside out.

A person with that kind of love in their heart simply loves. Everyone. Without reservation or judgement.

I’m talking about unconditional love.

To come from a place of unconditional love in every decision that we make as individuals, as communities, and as a country is the only way to counter the fear. And it is the only way to undo the damage that millennia of living from fear has caused.

By living from love we don’t just take out the garbage of our own fears and the innate fears that come from being human, we transform them. We turn those fears into compost; fertilizer that feeds the soul and strengthens the human spirit.

Unconditional love is real.

Living from a place of unconditional love is possible.

It is as simple as choosing in each moment to ask yourself “what would love do?”

And then go out and do it.

-Just Steph. October 30 2018

Too Much Love and Not Enough

On By Just StephIn My Odyssey, Touching the Infinite2 Comments

“I can only Love. That is all I can do. That is all I can be because that is what I am.  I AM Love.  I am what encompasses you; moves through you and allows you to be everything and experience everything that makes you who and what you are; everything.  No exceptions.  It’s all here; all a part of the totality that makes up existence; that makes up life.  It all exists inside of Love.  And all of Love exists inside of Me.”

~ SSHenry

Does that sound like something out of a new age self-help book?  Does that sound like some sort of sentimental clap-trap? Perhaps it does, but it doesn’t make it any less true.

Before you throw up your hands in frustration and decide that I have indeed gone over to the dark side, let me get one thing straight here.  I’m not talking about generalized love; you know the kind of love that a person refers to when they are talking about “loving” a certain kind of soda or brand of clothes or sports team.  That is such a watered down and punk-ass version of the real thing that it really doesn’t deserve to have the same word applied to it.  Come to think of it, we do use that word an awfully lot, don’t we?

Forget just the generalized over-use of the word “love” in general conversation.  There are so many other uses for the word that it is no wonder that sometimes it feels as if it has been spread way too thin.

We use the word “love” not just to express intense like in an object or for an experience, we also use the word as a way to describe everything from intense romantic desire (falling in love) to the sexual act (making love) to the intensely deep and protective feelings for a child (paternal love) the abiding camaraderie of friends (platonic love) and even the all-encompassing acceptance/salvation/forgiveness attributed to God in whatever way you define him (divine love).

And any way we slice it, the word “love” has come to be associated with certain expectations.  Think about it.  When we talk about “loving” a product or an experience, that ‘love’ depends on the product or experience continuing to produce the same feelings in us as it always has or by producing the same result that we find so awesome.

When we talk about romantic love, falling in love or making love we assume that the other person in the scenario is going to return our feelings or that we are at least going to get some sort of physical satisfaction out of it.  The same concept holds true for parental love, filial love, the love of friends and any other sort of love that you want to define.  There is always some sort of expectation; always something that you get in return.  Even divine love has its expectations.

Yes, in spite of those who claim that “God is love” and that is his love is unconditional, there is still the problem of why it is that the rewards of his love (eternal life) are dependent on the one receiving his love accepting and returning it or showing their appreciation for it in an appropriate manner, otherwise you don’t benefit from the love (at least not in the long term).  I hate to say it, but that is not unconditional love.

True unconditional love knows no limitations and has no expectations.  It not only loves everyone unconditionally, it also bestows the benefits of that love on everyone regardless of whether that love is appreciated, returned or even acknowledged – ever.

There is no differentiating those who accept the love from those who do not.  There are no special rewards for those who acknowledge or return the love as opposed to those who do not.  One simply LOVES.  Not because there is anything in it for you, not because you are obsessed with the people or things that you love, but because you have no other choice.  It is simply who and what you are.  It is what you do.  You get to the point where you cannot NOT love even if the people do not appreciate, return or even acknowledge the love that you give them.

It may seem as if it happened over night.  In fact, you may wake up one morning with this love in your heart and wonder how the devil it happened.  But chances are if you look back at your life, you’ll be able to see its progression; how opening and re-opening yourself up to love (in spite of the pain of rejection), how focusing on the positive even when it seemed that the negativity was suffocating, how reminding yourself over and over again not to become attached to people and outcomes all paid off.

But let me tell you something; in spite of the fact that when you get to this point; when you find that you cannot NOT love the people around you (regardless of how stupid they behave or even if they ignore you completely); that you want the best for everyone (even those who have hurt you), it can almost be lonelier than it was when you could compartmentalize; when you could put people into categories of those you loved, tolerated, ignored or hated.  Because in order to love at this level; in order to love at all, you have to open yourself up to that love; including being loved (or not) in return, even if the amount of love you receive is not equal to that which you are giving out.  And there WILL be those who love you in return, even if it is not with an unconditional love. On some levels, that can be the scariest thing of all.

Why?  Because when a person returns your love; when they acknowledge the unconditional love that you are sending them and reflect it back to you, it can be so delicious that it can be addictive.  And you will be tempted to become attached to what it is that they are offering; to feel as if they are supplying you with that love when in truth it is only a reflection of what is there in your own heart.  If you can remember that; that there is nothing they are giving you that you do not have access to yourself, then you will be okay even if they decide for whatever reason that they no longer love you.  If you can’t remember that, you are opening yourself up to a world full of hurt as you slip back into the addictive and painful world of love that is wrapped up in attachment and expectation.

But if you can resist the urge of attachment; of looking to one person or experience that you crave; you will have found that in every person; even those who do not acknowledge or return the love that you give out without question; that there is a reflection of the love that you give out without prompting; a love that is then reflected back to yourself threefold enabling you to become even more than you already were.

Indeed, loving unconditionally will not only be your biggest challenge, but its own tremendous reward.  And even though this may not make complete and total sense to you now, it will.  Oh yes, in time it will.

The Price of Love

On By Just StephIn Touching the Infinite1 Comment

As strange as it may seem, it is possible to love without attachment.  I’ll grant you, that is an alien concept in a day and age when the concept of love has been watered down to the point where it is used in regards to your like of soft drinks and computer games.  But it IS possible.

Love without attachment is also love without expectation.  The object of your love is not required to do or be anything other than exactly what it is.  If it should change from one moment to the next; if, like a rabid dog, they suddenly turn on you and attack for no reason other than the fact that you are there, it won’t change the fact that you still love them.

Most people can get to the point of wrapping their brains around the idea of unconditional love; of love without expectation and attachment when it comes to a parent’s love for their child, but what about love for a perfect stranger?

For love to be truly unconditional it has to be based on more than what the person (or object) can do for you (give you love back in return, provide you with financial or emotional support, give you validation for your choices or provide you with a justification for being alive).

Truly unconditional love comes from a realization that all of us; you, me, the person standing next to you, the homeless man on the corner, the obnoxious politician – all of us; that each and every one of us is instrumental to the well being of the universe and of life on this planet.  It comes from an acknowledgement that even though we may each seem completely different, at our deepest core WE ARE ONE.

The True Price of Love

 

True love comes with a price – the price of pain;

 Of giving up a tiny bit of yourself to the one you love,

Knowing full well that you will never get that piece back;

Of knowing that as long as they live they will hold a tiny piece of your heart and soul.

 

And the true cost of living a life of love – whether it is the one love of a lifetime

Or many loves throughout your life – is that by the time you are done;

By the time your heart stops beating; there is nothing left of your heart.

It has been spread across the world – across the universe.

 

It has become a part of everyone and everything you have ever interacted with.

No matter how large or how small a part they played in your life,

You loved them; and in loving them you gave them a bit of your heart;

And in them your heart beats on and loves forever.

~SSHenry

Let Me Love You

On By Just StephIn Touching the InfiniteLeave a comment

There are some things that are very difficult to put into words.  Love; real love; unconditional love is one of those.

When those of us who have been raised in western socieities think of love we almost always associate it with things like romantic love, passion, sex, intimacy and those things that lead up to these.  But there are so many kinds of love!  There is the love for a lover, yes of course.  But there is also the love of a parent for a child, a child for a parent, for a sibling or a friend or even for a stranger.   But there is also love that comes from the feelings we have for a place, or an experience.  The kind of love we have for words and food and beatiful artwork.

In truth, anything that stirs the soul can be said to contain a bit of love; a spark of the divine to which our own souls gravitate.  But then of course,  there is unconditional love; an all encompasing love that includes every type of love that you could ever feel for any person place or thing that is or was or ever will be.

You see, unconditional love is not dependant on anything outside of itself for its existence.  It does not need to be acknowledged by those to whom it is given.  It needs no one to return it in order for it to be justified.   It requires nothing in order to exist.  It simply IS.

There are some people who can love like this – totally and completely – and who require nothing in return.  This doesn’t mean that they do not appreciate being loved in return or having the love that they give acknowledged and appreciated.  It simply means that regardless of whether or not anyone even notices, or cares, they will continue to love.

It is simply who they are.

It is what they DO.

They ARE love for they have touched the infinite, and once the soul has felt that grace, there is no turning back.  It is part of you, forever and always.

 

LET ME LOVE YOU

Let me love you.
Let me pour out my spirit, my soul;
let it wash over you until you are drenched in my love.

Let my spirit soak into your skin
and fill your eyes and mouth;
your heart and soul with the river of my passion.

Let the soft current of my desire
scour away any doubts and fears
let it sweep you past the point of no return
to where the waterfall of eternal bliss
cascades into the mists of eternity.

I never knew that my heart was made of wax,
But here it is melting every time I look into your eyes.
Maybe I flew to close to the sun of your smile
Because I feel my wings beginning to slip.
It doesn’t matter if I plummet to earth.
I’ve known the warmth of your touch
And my heart will never be the same again.

The Smiling Heart

On By Just StephIn Touching the InfiniteLeave a comment

We’ve all felt it; that all encompassing sense of wonder and mystery that accompanies those things which unexpectedly touch your soul.  I don’t care if it is listening to the dawn’s first birdsong or the lonely call of a loon on a moonlit lake.  It doesn’t matter if it is the hypnotic crashing of ocean waves against the shore or the ethereal beauty of a sunrise or the pure, unadulterated joy of a baby’s smile or the spark of passion in your lover’s eyes; you’ve felt it, if only for an instant.  You know it’s there.

There are times when simply putting something this full of wonder into prosaic words simply does not work anymore.  The relationship that I have with the mysterious; with that sense of wonder and awe that occasionally fill up my heart and soul is like that.  There are days when simply speaking is no longer enough; days when the standard pattern of words just doesn’t work and I find myself turning to painting or poetry to help convey what is building up inside me.

These poems – I have had individuals who say that they are love poetry – and so they are, in a way.  But it is not your standard love poetry.  Not really.  Or rather, none of it is addressed to a specific person, more to that all encompasing wonder that I find filling my heart. 

It is for this reason that I have started a poetry section of this blog/journal.  The first of these is what I like to call “The Smiling Heart.”

The Smiling Heart

Your love surrounds me; fills me and heats my heart to the melting point.

Your love permeates every corner of my soul and manifests itself as my reality.

You, yes you.  You make my heart smile. Can you feel it?

Can you feel how, when the corners of my lips turn up

That the air becomes crisp and clear; clouds parting to reveal skies of blue?

Can you feel how, when my heart beats faster,

That the wind starts to blow and the world comes alive with birdsong?

Can you feel how, as my desire for you increases,

How the sun shines brighter; warming the earth and the sap in the trees?

You must feel it; how can you not, being inside me as you are?

And as my heart smiles, I feel you sigh inside my soul,

And I am at peace.

~SSHenry

The Perfect Moment

On By Just StephIn Authentic Living Series, Metaphysical MussingsLeave a comment

There’s something you want, isn’t there? Something that you want so desperately that it is eating away at your insides; a longing that has been gnawing away great chunks of your heart while you weren’t looking and leaving you feeling as if you are some sort of metaphysical Swiss cheese; all full of inexplicable holes and gaps.

Yes, you know what I’m talking about.

Maybe you caught a glimpse of it once. Perhaps you met a person or read a book, heard a presentation, watched a movie; saw a sunset or listened to a piece of music that, for whatever reason captured this longing; clarified it; brought it into sharp focus; gave you a taste of what life could be like if you had this particular thing in your life.

And then it was gone.

The person walked out of your life; you turned the last page of the book; the lights came on after the movie, the sun went down or the music ended, and suddenly your life had an empty space in it; a space that you didn’t even know you had; a space that, for just a moment, was filled with something so beautiful and all-encompassing that only in its ceasing could you truly know how truly beautiful and perfect it was. Only after it was gone did you realize that with it had gone the person that you were truly meant to be.

Once this kind of moment has been experienced, there is no going back. Your life will never be the same for whether you realize it or not, you have been given a glimpse into your true nature and the nature of the universe. It is how you handle the aftermath that makes all the difference.

For some, having once experienced this, they then become so obsessed with once more finding this perfect moment; with recapturing it or recreating it, that they will spend the rest of their lives in pursuit of it and ruining any chance of happiness in the process. These people hop from relationship to relationship; from experience to experience; always looking to re-create that perfect moment of complete knowing; that moment of complete acceptance and belonging when everything fell into place and, for a moment, the world was perfect and time stood still.

Others become bitter. They’ve tasted of the fruit of the tree of knowledge and suddenly they know. They know that what they have experienced was the single most powerful moment of their lives to date. They too feel the perfection of that moment and what having that in their lives could have meant. But instead of pursuing it single-mindedly, they take into account their current circumstances; they weigh the responsibilities and obligations that they believe will keep them from obtaining it (for whatever reason) and resign themselves to never having that moment again.

These people look around themselves and while they can still see the beauty in their everyday lives, they know in their hearts that they will never see things in quite the same way again. They are forever comparing (even if subconsciously) what they have and where they are to what they had and who they were if only for that brief moment of time. And the knowledge of what could have been is like a slow torture for their soul; a torture that they accept as punishment for even considering wanting more than what they see as the hand fate has dealt them.

And then there is a third group. These people also experience the perfection of the moment. Like the others their heart is torn wide open when the experience is over and everyday reality reasserts its claim. Unlike the others, however, they recognize this moment for what it truly is; a glimpse of their true nature. They recognize it and realize almost at once that they don’t have to live without it ever again.

Somehow these people understand that no matter what the catalyst for that perfect moment was, that it was not dependent on a person or place; that they do not need specific circumstances to bring that feeling of unconditional love and belonging back into their life. Somehow they know that what they felt; what they experienced; was their authentic self; their true nature. That for just a moment, for whatever reason, their life was in complete and total alignment with their soul purpose and everything fell neatly into place.

They know that all you have to do is commit yourself to living authentically; one day at a time, one moment at a time; that you live in perfect openness and honesty with yourself and everyone around you; that you listen to and follow that voice within your heart; that still small voice of intuition that will guide you in the way that you should go.

These people know that you don’t have to live without it. You can have that perfect moment again, and it can last forever. For you are the perfect moment, as long as you are living every moment from your heart and soul.

The Only Place to Start

On By Just StephIn Metaphysical MussingsLeave a comment

At the heart of everything mankind believes in, there are two very fundamental principles; Thought and Action.

You see it everywhere; in everyone; clear as anything. The majority of people fall into one of two camps.

There are those that fall into the camp of wanting to take action – now – against something, someone, anyone. Who or what shall we fight against? Well, who or what is the perceived threat? Well, let’s take action then. Something has to be done. Plans are laid – battle cries are sounded. But somehow or another there never seems to be any clear-cut thought behind the action. There is no motivation for actual follow through, simply the pressing need to DO.

And then there are those that sit back and twiddle their navels. No action is needed. Ever. It’s all in your head. Everything. Everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be. There IS no enemy. There IS no threat. No action is needed because the universe has everything well in hand. Visualize whirled peas. Love is the answer. Sit back and let love change the world.  And that is all fine and good, except that it never does.

Of course there are those in the middle who look at both sides, throw up their hands and say “what the hell ever – there’s no reasoning with either of you” and go back to their daily lives, but more often than not they usually end up coming back eventually; back to their religion, or to a cause or to someplace where they can feel as if they are actually a part of something.

So where is the disconnect? Why is it that the each side of the coin can never see the other? THEY ARE THE SAME COIN.

But it is a coin.

And coins have to be spent to be of any good to anyone.

Oh, they’re pretty enough mounted up in a frame on the wall, all nicely polished with pretty labels describing where they came from and how much they are worth. Or in the bank, accumulating interest, all safe and secure. You also see them lying in gutters, the bottoms of fountains, and stuck underneath the seats of vehicles alongside the cheeseburger wrapper from last week and last year’s map of Cleveland. It’s so easy to lose them in good intentions.

But money (pardon the expression) is like manure. It isn’t worth a thing unless it’s spread around encouraging young things to grow.

And that, you see, is the disconnect, and the question that needs answering; what are we spending the coin on?

The answer is not to simply sit around and wait for the universe to sort it out – because WE are the universe. But neither is the answer to focus on some evil power or entity outside of ourselves. The answer is not even to focus on the external problems (poverty, disease, disempowerment, abuse, violence, hatred – in all of its myriad forms) – because, believe it or not THEY ARE NOT THE REAL PROBLEM. They are the symptoms; symptoms of the real disease.

The disease is fear. It is the fear of not being able to control our circumstances, of having things done for us, and to us that we do not want and didn’t ask for. All the external symptoms of the disease are curable – yes. But not by attacking them. That does nothing but feed the fear; make it stronger. And those who are afraid will react – you got it – out of fear. It’s a never-ending cycle.

So what do we do, sit back and twiddle our navels and trust that things will work out as they are supposed to? (Sounds a tad bit like pre-determinism to me). Of COUSE we take action, but it’s not the kind of action most would suppose, because you’re not attacking the symptoms. You are taking what the navel twiddlers found out during their meditation sessions (but didn’t know what to DO with) and applying it to every aspect of your being – every aspect of your life.

You see, love IS the answer, that’s the force that holds the universe together, and the universe WILL sort everything out and, since you are the universe, it’s up to you to do the sorting. And since we have determined what the disease is (the disease that is causing all the symptoms that we despise so very much) the action is to inoculate ourselves against the fear. Cut it out of our souls and replace it with the only thing that can make us whole…unconditional and unadulterated love.

I’m not talking all rainbows and roses here. Love is not always pretty, and when it’s healing the wounds caused by fear and hatred and self-doubt it can be downright painful. But it’s the only place to start.

We can heal the world; but only if we heal ourselves first. Once we have healed ourselves – THEN we can start helping others, pointing them towards the same sort of healing. Until fear is gone from inside of each of us – we will NEVER be rid of it in the world.

We can change the world; but only by changing ourselves – and our perceptions of the world around us and only by combining thought and action and putting them to work in our own lives.